Friday, August 29, 2014

Not There

we are very good friends and she is not there         
not any time soon she has in actual fact care            
not wanting to go there your edges to rough     
rough heart has to be more than close so rare      
dearheart is still haunting in her e’er actions
someday soon she may learn some reactions
pas sions a wake for her with one as urbane
urbane haunt still lives in her like damn bastions
your speech, your hobby, foreign as can be
lexes cut the heart of One Dearheart can see
twists an ache in her chambers of the mind
mind chasm she will not to cross cause no glee
this time she knows the future dearheart alter’
more chasms will again propel a mind into falter
falter no longer here in route to her new future
her hope to have both Rocks of Gibraltar  


  1. wow... this form can apply to any topic

  2. well done on the form. I like the repeated words at the end of line 3/beginning of line 4 in the first 3 stanzas. One question: in stanzas III and IV, did you mean to use the word "chiasm" or did you want "chasm"?

    1. I changed it to chasm for ease of read. Then no one would have to look it up. Both words actually fit I think? Do you think?

  3. It is good that she now has an idea of her future, and I do hope that she attains her hope.

  4. The game of love is not always fair.. there are some that get it all.. leaving havoc in their wake... great use of the form.. the repetitions enhance it to get the message through.

  5. an interesting write... the bastions...her hope of having both rocks of gibraltar, the being not there and all that goes with it... sometimes it takes a bit until we're able to cross those chasms..

  6. Being with someone who is neither here nor there can be very disturbing.

  7. I specially like the third stanza and that hopeful ending - Good work on the quatrain ~

  8. Sorry! I am a Norwegian, not a profound reader of English, and I do not understand a bit of it.

  9. def an interesting took a little decyphering, but i think i followed the story...i thought for a bit you were chaining your lines with the end line beginning line repetitions, which was cool...and i have def crossed a few mental chasms...smiles.

  10. Interesting diverse images build a solid poem of love/loss/ and puzzlement. Liked it.

  11. I enjoyed reading your poem...the first line got me...she is not there....


Comments always welcomed.