Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Well Well Well Cool ...Kiss!

Your goodbye kiss was...
 
     overwhelming just as the first;
     feeling it throughout my whole body
      the last kiss of love, passion, desire, and care.
T
          h
                a
                      t
     never happened before! Now I see, blindly
      wish we never met, so glad to really know; love.
        Thankful, for your short lived love and generosity.
f
         e
               a
                     r
    shall it ever happen again... no
     I know I had a few boyfriends and
      married several, I did not know... real love.
l
         o
               v
                     e
    now I do, and love is, overwhelming,
     painful as making you aware of a time wasted;
      the coldness, withdrawal of love and
 n
        o
              w
    understanding me, seeing I embarrass you.
     letting you be you, changing me into another
      empty superficial shell, what was I thinking
o
        f     love,
   just like God's kiss hello, overwhelming my
    entire being, to where I could no longer stand,
     down to the floor, just as I am, even now He
s
        a
             v
                  es
   all the way to the floor; symbolically fetal again.
    Loving you as I love Him since we met so many years
     ago. How can I possibly rise again, now that I have known you
t
       o    so;
   intimately, as He let me experience you fully.
    Spiritually good, caring, loving, generous, laughing,
     bright eyes, vibrant, adventurous, the side in the light.
T
      h
           e
   superficial you, dark, deliberately uncaring, drowning your pain.
    Slovenly, frightened, injured, judge my mental, fearful of what some
     might say if they knew her condition, the stigma, embarrassment.
O
     n
           e
   may as well be the plague. Emotionally you left me. To prove
    to others how normal she can be. Too embarrassed; to let me be me.
     That broke me, you should have to fix me. Broken, living alone. A-
l
    o
          n
               e
   where no one can come. Only Him, see how sick she is, poor thing.
    I did not know. Of course not, you know not love. How sad for me,
     pathetic, down, hear undesirable, you have gained weight, even more
y
     o
         u
   are unpublished, not real artist, not in a gallery, not normal, dysfunctional kids
    family is a mess. At least, you now call yours, more. Glad you are moving on...
     you will settle for some semblance of normal, I still thank God everyday for I
m
     e
           t                   y      o    u,
   just knowing the side of you who lives in the light was worth the pain.
    at least I know, how men really are. Love is, not really in them beyond God
     pets things reputations and the need for status in a superficial society. Since
w
      e
    can not be uS. Seeing your lack of understanding, knowing your unknowing
     need for entertainment is sad. Losing moments of real love. Sad for me, you do
      not know a stunning poet you murder. You never read somehow; never 
k
     n
         e
              w
     you never got it. All the dualities and elegies, about you our love stirs. I am
     thankful for all adventures, ungrateful for the break, this lost summer, trips I
       planned for us to take. Wasted passport, paying money for rent. Wasted love
f
     o
          r
   your normal thinking. Normal to run, to decide not to love. Not to grow, love more
    more travels, adventures. Just stop and find someone new. Overtly and covertly,
     I knew, became allergic to you. Stop your worry, poor thing, will stop bothering you.
E
       r
              r
   you go mate, run, run, run. You know how to turn us on and off. The first and last kiss;
    overwhelming just as the first, feeling it through my whole body the last kiss
     of love, passion, desire, and care. Hurting to know, you turn it on and off. Go;
o
     n
    purpose you love, hurt and run. I always knew, that real love would hurt.
      stunning poet, still loves true, Dearheart and her dearheart. All your wives.
        Same pain, forgiving like Him, apparently on break. Whatever that is?
  I
      f                                        you want to?